Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Mommy Guilts

I have started to get the mommy guilts lately. I can pinpoint when it started which was right about 18-20 months when I started letting Owen watch T.V. The pediatrician always nicely reminded me when I went into the office that "he shouldn't watch T.V. until 2 yrs. old." At some point I gave up and let him watch a few shows. Then I called my church preschool in January about when the fall sign up was. And they just happened to have a spot open in his age classroom right then. This would also ensure that he would have a spot in September. So I took it. I use the excuse in my head that I am in graduate school and have two classes on campus this semester. (Univ of Texas at Arlington, about 45 mins from my house) Which is true, but it still makes me feel bad. I don't know why I think it's more OK to put Owen in school at 2 and a half rather than right at 2. So silly. Since my classes are Tues. evening and Thursday morning, I don't get to put him to bed on Tuesdays or take him to school on Thursdays. Please don't read this and think that I am judging anyone else for their decisions. I have learned not to judge anyone else's decisions regarding their children. Life is too complicated to know how WE need to make our own choices let alone how others need to make their choices. Now we are leaving Owen for four days to go on vacation without him. I feel terrible. He has been super clingy lately and I don't know how he will feel about us being gone. I realize that I am being a bit irrational picking a fight with Nate this morning and crying because we are leaving but hey, I am an irrational person when it comes to my kid. Anyway I decided to write this because only other Mommy's would know the Mommy Guilt. It's terrible and no matter how much time we spend with our children will it ever be enough?