Starting our Adoption Process

Nate was asked by a business partner of his companies' to come to Mexico for three months in 2008. At the time, I was a school social worker and had time off in the summer, so we excitingly agreed. We lived in an apartment in Monterrey, had a spanish tutor 3x a week, and I got to volunteer at an orphanage. We were so excited and nervous. We ended up being there for a little over two months. We learned a lot that summer about being on our own as a married couple. It got lonely at times but we enjoyed each others company more than ever before. Working at the orphanage was an amazing experience and like anyone who gets an opportunity like this, I fell in love with a little boy named after Moses. He went by Moe pronounced Mooey. He turned three that summer and I was convinced that he was supposed to be our child. Now I know you can't really just walk in and pick a kid, but I just couldn't imagine leaving without him. Turns out that you have to be married two years before you can adopt from that particular agency.(which we were not) It was founded by several Catholic women. They have a web site in case you would like to see it. http://www.filios.org

After coming home and realizing that we were pretty far from starting an adoption plan, I put it on the back burner. When we started to discuss adoption both of us were convinced that we were going to Mexico to find our child. What could be better, we knew the language (fairly well), we knew and loved the music, food, and traditions. Unfortunately, after much research we found that it is pretty difficult to adopt from Mexico. In fact, we could only find two Hague accredited agencies that do adopt from Mexico and the closest one is in Arizona. The social worker in Arizona told me that the likelihood of adopting a child younger than Owen was not good. Even though I would adopt Moe in a heartbeat If it were possible, we really wanted to keep the birth order. This was really important to Nate so our adoption pursuit came to a large halt. We hadn't considered a backup plan. Mexico was it. Never in a million years would I have thought that we would be adopting a newborn domestically, but with many conversations and research this is where God put us. We learned a big lesson of trusting that God will lead you to the place you need to be if you let him. Our journey is still at the beginning and I am sure we will have more lessons to come. I decided to go over how to start the adoption process in the next blog. This will be from the mouth of a complete adoption amateur, but felt compelled to share the start to our story. Post coming soon...

 

Nate and Jackie

Monterrey Mexico

2008

Adoption Concerns from Friends

Nate just got back from Atlanta Wednesday afternoon and we are back to a three person family again.  Thank goodness! It's just not the same without him around, not to mention being a single mother, exhausting! And he was only gone 3 and a half days. Sending love to all single moms out there, you are some strong ladies! Today, Nate got an email from a friend of ours.  He forwarded an article written by a woman who had a lot of rough times as she was pursuing an open adoption.  It was a sad story of being chosen as an adoptive mother five times, only to be left heartbroken four of those times.  From the article it looks like she was putting out ads in the paper and on the internet to find a birth mother.  As I don't want to judge the way a person chooses to adopt, I feel like this particular woman definitely went about things the hard way.  Lucky for us, we are relying on an adoption agency that will be counseling all of the potential birth mothers throughout their pregnancy.  We have been assured that the birthmothers will not be able to pick an adoptive parent until they are fully ready to embrace an adoption plan for their child.  Adoption is always going to come with risk and we are well aware of our potential for heartbreak.  There is a waiting period after the child is born when the birthmother can change her mind.  All I can say is we think that the risk will be worth the reward and if a birthmother chooses to not go through with the adoption, our portfolio will go back in the adoptive family book and the waiting game will start again with a side of heartache.  We definitely want to hear any loving concerns for our family if you feel the need to express them.  Although, please know that we have read and read, made our decisions, and have to live with all potential outcomes.  Prayers are always super appreciated!!!